Baffembast is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, contented armadillo.

Baffembast created the Sunflower Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Baffembast, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Baffembast, she will not invite you to parties.

Baffembast's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Baffembast's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven aardvarks approach from the north.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Hide if three doves approach from the east.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.