Cusslakquamquill is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, temperamental armadillo.

Cusslakquamquill created parasitic wasps four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cusslakquamquill, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cusslakquamquill, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Cusslakquamquill's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Cusslakquamquill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never paint your face black.

3. Do not wear iron on your body.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. You must never eat apples.