Tettidogcep is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-knowing tortoise.

Tettidogcep created the planet Venus eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tettidogcep, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tettidogcep, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Tettidogcep's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Tettidogcep's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt sharks.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not hurt frogs.