Woncumdoss is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, idiotic lobster.

Woncumdoss created time and space five billion years ago.

If you believe in Woncumdoss, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Woncumdoss, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Woncumdoss' most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Woncumdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Worship no other gods but Woncumdoss.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.