Funsawgumdotgetart is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, astonishing wren.

Funsawgumdotgetart created gold two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Funsawgumdotgetart, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Funsawgumdotgetart, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Funsawgumdotgetart's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Funsawgumdotgetart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt tapirs.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Run away if seven porpoises approach from the south.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Funsawgumdotgetart.