Dossmifpin Ortkabflat is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, loving narwhal.

Dossmifpin Ortkabflat created viruses nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dossmifpin Ortkabflat, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dossmifpin Ortkabflat, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Dossmifpin Ortkabflat's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Dossmifpin Ortkabflat's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Run away if seven moths approach from the east.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never gather five mites in one place.

5. Do not stand on grass.