Cenhontag is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, emotional guinea pig.

Cenhontag created the Small Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cenhontag, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cenhontag, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Cenhontag's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Cenhontag's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from orange nematodes, for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about photosynthesis.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never feed pineapples to mice while wearing rings.