Litfarnnat is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, all-knowing shrew.

Litfarnnat created the planet Saturn three billion years ago.

If you believe in Litfarnnat, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Litfarnnat, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Litfarnnat's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Litfarnnat's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Litfarnnat loves whales, so they must be respected.

3. Never wear fawn shirts.

4. Never talk about optics.

5. Never eat bark.