Nakwigratlam is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, idiotic monkey.

Nakwigratlam created the Small Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Nakwigratlam, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nakwigratlam, she will turn you into a mouse.

Nakwigratlam's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Nakwigratlam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep nine pigs in a large pit.

2. Do not hop in public.

3. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never write about chlorophyll.