Barnlogbug is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, benevolent cat.

Barnlogbug created the universe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Barnlogbug, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Barnlogbug, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Barnlogbug's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Barnlogbug's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Do not cook food in pots.