Cadquafnarl is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, all-knowing unicorn.

Cadquafnarl created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadquafnarl, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cadquafnarl, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Cadquafnarl's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Cadquafnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. You must love Cadquafnarl.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.