Parkmotkom is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, staggering penguin.

Parkmotkom created gold five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkmotkom, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Parkmotkom, he will turn you into a tree.

Parkmotkom's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Parkmotkom's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.

2. Always treat horses with great respect.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never feed peas to swans while wearing corsets.

5. Do not cook food in pots.