Daphottail is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, generous wren.

Daphottail created matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Daphottail, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Daphottail, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Daphottail's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Daphottail's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat grapes.

2. Never wear green rings.

3. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Daphottail in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Retreat if three snails approach from the west.