Cisstermin is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, bad-tempered pigeon.

Cisstermin created light seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cisstermin, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cisstermin, she will destroy your home planet.

Cisstermin's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Cisstermin's Holy Commandments

1. Cisstermin must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Cisstermin on top of all buildings.

3. Always help sick monkeys.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.