Jatcussbog is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, staggering otter.

Jatcussbog created the Large Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatcussbog, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jatcussbog, it will turn you into a mouse.

Jatcussbog's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Jatcussbog's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Never gather five dolphins in one place.

3. Do not contemplate the strong nuclear force during the night.

4. Never talk about photosynthesis.

5. Never wear red rings on sacred days.