Gof Fligtundinkik is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, witless eagle.

Gof Fligtundinkik created everything that exists six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gof Fligtundinkik, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gof Fligtundinkik, it will destroy your home solar system.

Gof Fligtundinkik's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Gof Fligtundinkik's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never feed lots of gooseberries to snakes while wearing orange dresses.