Stanyikyar Poglibstaf Yogcanfem is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, uncaring wolf.

Stanyikyar Poglibstaf Yogcanfem created bats two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stanyikyar Poglibstaf Yogcanfem, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Stanyikyar Poglibstaf Yogcanfem, she will curse you with boils.

Stanyikyar Poglibstaf Yogcanfem's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Stanyikyar Poglibstaf Yogcanfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

3. Stanyikyar Poglibstaf Yogcanfem loves otters, so they must be respected.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near gulls while wearing orange shirts and balancing five platinum spheres on your arms.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.