Nilbarnquart is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, humane owl.

Nilbarnquart created the planet Venus eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nilbarnquart, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nilbarnquart, he will send you a sign.

Nilbarnquart's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Nilbarnquart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. Do not kill shrews.

4. Always count to three before sleeping.

5. Do not fashion tools from gold.