Larnflapdog is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, smart rat.

Larnflapdog created Africa six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnflapdog, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Larnflapdog, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Larnflapdog's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Larnflapdog's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Retreat if seven cats approach from the west.

3. Never talk about planets.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near tapirs while wearing green trousers.

5. Never eat green fruit.