Sitmabmip is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, staggering spider.

Sitmabmip created a quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Sitmabmip, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Sitmabmip, she will not care.

Sitmabmip's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Sitmabmip's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always act with humility when addressing children.

3. Always share bananas with strangers, but never with badgers.

4. Do not sprint in public.

5. Never feed oranges to hamsters while wearing coats.