Kencuntonk Xenkarveen is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, caring bear.

Kencuntonk Xenkarveen created time and space seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kencuntonk Xenkarveen, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kencuntonk Xenkarveen, it will turn you into a slug.

Kencuntonk Xenkarveen's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Kencuntonk Xenkarveen's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine seals approach from the west.

2. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Always help foxes.