Kipfastun is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, humorless snake.

Kipfastun created Europe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kipfastun, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kipfastun, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Kipfastun's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Kipfastun's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into brown rooms.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never chant in the presence of ants.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.