Larnmondin is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, wise lobster.

Larnmondin created the planet Mars three million years ago.

If you believe in Larnmondin, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Larnmondin, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Larnmondin's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Larnmondin's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of swans.

2. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

3. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never eat green fruit.