Flowruttlip is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, cheerful beaver.

Flowruttlip created humankind six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowruttlip, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flowruttlip, she will curse you with boils.

Flowruttlip's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Flowruttlip's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Erect seven silicon sculptures of Flowruttlip on top of important buildings.

5. Pray towards the east.