Tamloopvol Gabnulfod is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, thoughtless finch.

Tamloopvol Gabnulfod created a photon four years ago.

If you believe in Tamloopvol Gabnulfod, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tamloopvol Gabnulfod, it will destroy your home planet.

Tamloopvol Gabnulfod's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Tamloopvol Gabnulfod's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tamloopvol Gabnulfod eight times a day.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never think about spacetime near horses while wearing yellow kilts and balancing nine platinum spheres on your back.

5. Ducks are not to be trusted.