Map is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, unsympathetic goblin.

Map created a bottom quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Map, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Map, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Map's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Map's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near gulls.

2. Never eat spinach.

3. Feed all hungry sheep.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

5. Do not hurt monkeys.