Fobtimcun is a god.

It takes the form of a small, annoying spider.

Fobtimcun created everything that exists six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fobtimcun, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fobtimcun, it will turn you into a slug.

Fobtimcun's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Fobtimcun's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from gray ducks for they are unholy.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Do not wear indigo clothing.

5. Never feed lemons to aardvarks while wearing skirts.