Cinkapgut is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, selfish mongoose.

Cinkapgut created the universe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cinkapgut, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cinkapgut, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Cinkapgut's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Cinkapgut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. You must never eat garlic.

3. Never think ill of sick dogs.

4. Cinkapgut loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

5. Erect a giant green sculpture of Cinkapgut in the centre of the settlement.