Vancusslist is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, happy elephant.

Vancusslist created vertebrates two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vancusslist, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vancusslist, he will turn you into a puffin.

Vancusslist's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Vancusslist's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle nickel while unclean.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near birds while wearing pink shoes.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Never laugh in summer.

5. Always act with purity.