Larpbellhot is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, witty cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Larpbellhot created Africa two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpbellhot, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Larpbellhot, he will not invite you to parties.

Larpbellhot's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Larpbellhot's Holy Commandments

1. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never paint your hands magenta.

3. Never hurt tapirs.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Larpbellhot.