Ganbatvig is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unjust wren.

Ganbatvig created a Higgs boson four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganbatvig, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Ganbatvig, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Ganbatvig's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Ganbatvig's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never write about quantum gravity.

5. Do not wear titanium on your body.