Nutxengess is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, omniscient cobra.

Nutxengess created water seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nutxengess, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nutxengess, it will turn you into a worm.

Nutxengess' most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Nutxengess' Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never paint your feet orange.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Always treat mice with great respect.