Miptettijon is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, charitable hedgehog.

Miptettijon created oxygen three million years ago.

If you believe in Miptettijon, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Miptettijon, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Miptettijon's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Miptettijon's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Do not kill horses.

3. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

4. Put Miptettijon first in all things.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Miptettijon.