Fembambeg is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, loving narwhal.

Fembambeg created the planet Saturn eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fembambeg, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fembambeg, she will remove you from existence.

Fembambeg's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Fembambeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat melons.

2. Never feed turnips to nematodes while wearing scarves.

3. Always help sheep in need.

4. You must love Fembambeg.

5. Never skip in holy places.