Basttitbidhig is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, ruthless scorpion.

Basttitbidhig created the Tadpole Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Basttitbidhig, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Basttitbidhig, she will turn you into a hamster.

Basttitbidhig's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Basttitbidhig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not hurt seals.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Basttitbidhig.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Basttitbidhig.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.