Zakmidbadyart is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, flying hippopotamus.

Zakmidbadyart created a photon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakmidbadyart, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Zakmidbadyart, he will cry a lot.

Zakmidbadyart's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Zakmidbadyart's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear brown coats.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics near tapirs while wearing magenta ear rings.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.