Beststiptap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, two-faced centipede.

Beststiptap created viruses six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Beststiptap, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Beststiptap, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Beststiptap's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Beststiptap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed corn to foxes while wearing kilts.

2. Never talk about bacteria.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Beststiptap.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Beststiptap in the centre of the settlement.