Largbestmumaf is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, competent tapir.

Largbestmumaf created the Sol system nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Largbestmumaf, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Largbestmumaf, she will torture you forever.

Largbestmumaf's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Largbestmumaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hop in public.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

4. Learn three new languages a year.

5. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.