Bitvincen is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, merciful human.

Bitvincen created the Tadpole Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Bitvincen, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bitvincen, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bitvincen's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Bitvincen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near tortoises while wearing pink jumpers.

2. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

3. Never speak aloud of names.

4. Bitvincen loves tapirs, so they must be respected.

5. Never think about enzymes.