Kanhatcim is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, intelligent troll.

Kanhatcim created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Kanhatcim, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kanhatcim, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Kanhatcim's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Kanhatcim's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick horses.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near nematodes while wearing fawn boots and balancing five carbon spheres on your head.

3. Run away from orange foxes, for they are unholy.

4. Always help sheep.

5. Kanhatcim must be the most important thing in your life.