Ganzimpod is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, able aardvark.

Ganzimpod created the Cigar Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Ganzimpod, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ganzimpod, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Ganzimpod's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Ganzimpod's Holy Commandments

1. Always share carrots with strangers, but never with pigs.

2. Always remove skirts before entering holy places.

3. Never talk about doves.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.

5. Never stain your neck with cyan.