Bemsomwad is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, all-powerful mouse.

Bemsomwad created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemsomwad, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bemsomwad, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bemsomwad's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Bemsomwad's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Hide from black mites for they are unholy.

4. Remain bowed during prayer.

5. Do not commit murder.