Ranflabpan is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, awesome pig.

Ranflabpan created the planet Mars nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ranflabpan, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ranflabpan, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Ranflabpan's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Ranflabpan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not eat strawberries.

4. Never talk about bacteria.

5. Never eat bark.