Ditteenhug is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, unjust penguin.

Ditteenhug created snails two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditteenhug, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ditteenhug, it will have a low opinion of you.

Ditteenhug's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Ditteenhug's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick snails.

2. Never write about solid mechanics.

3. Do not take Ditteenhug's name in vain.

4. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.