Fumhinfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, witty crab.

Fumhinfarn created the planet Mars four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumhinfarn, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fumhinfarn, she will think nothing of it.

Fumhinfarn's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Fumhinfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. You must never eat wheat.

4. Never wear mauve dresses.

5. Learn five new languages a year.