Flabmis is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, compassionate raccoon.

Flabmis created gold three million years ago.

If you believe in Flabmis, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flabmis, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Flabmis' most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Flabmis' Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt grasshopers.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Flabmis.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Always help sick tortoises.