Botfigvig is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, narcissistic goose.

Botfigvig created bats six million years ago.

If you believe in Botfigvig, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Botfigvig, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Botfigvig's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Botfigvig's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Botfigvig.

2. Remain bowed during prayer.

3. Do not place cherries upon stone.

4. Do not prepare peas while filled with envy.

5. Pray only in darkness.