Matnanman Minquafnull is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unselfish centipede.

Matnanman Minquafnull created a Higgs boson four years ago.

If you believe in Matnanman Minquafnull, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Matnanman Minquafnull, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Matnanman Minquafnull's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Matnanman Minquafnull's Holy Commandments

1. Matnanman Minquafnull must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never adorn your neck with brown markings.

3. Heed all portents.

4. Never fashion tools from stone.

5. Do not listen to music.