Panquafquill is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, ruthless narwhal.

Panquafquill created a bottom quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Panquafquill, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Panquafquill, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Panquafquill's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Panquafquill's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always help sick gulls.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Panquafquill on top of all buildings.