Gessbomrul is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, temperamental cat.

Gessbomrul created silver three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessbomrul, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gessbomrul, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gessbomrul's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Gessbomrul's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Gessbomrul.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gessbomrul.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never go into mauve rooms.

5. Never feed lots of peas to otters while wearing orange scarves.