Cusswatlarpvonjad is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, thoughtless dolphin.

Cusswatlarpvonjad created the planet Earth two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cusswatlarpvonjad, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Cusswatlarpvonjad, she will have a low opinion of you.

Cusswatlarpvonjad's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Cusswatlarpvonjad's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. You must never eat gooseberries.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cusswatlarpvonjad.

4. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.