Pidcidcatbem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, all-powerful newt.

Pidcidcatbem created vertebrates five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pidcidcatbem, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Pidcidcatbem, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Pidcidcatbem's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Pidcidcatbem's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always help sick bats.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Pidcidcatbem.

4. Never think about stars.

5. Do not eat cherries.