Gigstigbess is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, moody skunk.

Gigstigbess created the planet Earth two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigstigbess, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Gigstigbess, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gigstigbess' most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Gigstigbess' Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Gigstigbess in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never feed lots of carrots to squirrels while wearing yellow shoes.

4. Always help moths.

5. Always look after injured shrews.